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Is your fertility defining you and/or taking over your every thought?
Trying to conceive can be exhausting.
All your focus – each and every day – is on what you need to do to increase your chances of conceiving.
In your mind it’s so easy (and quick) to go from conceiving being a problem to “am I the problem?”
We get it – this is an important time – and you want to give it your best shot.
But what if I told you that too much focus on the problem means you miss some of the solutions?
The fertility problem ripples
Is your fertility defining you – what do I mean? I’ve seen so many women be so consumed by trying to conceive that their whole life revolves around it and they forget who they are in the process … and things change.
This is what I’ve seen time and again … maybe you can relate: relationship tension or changes – because every interaction is related to pregnancy and getting pregnant. Conversations revolve around pregnancy – whether it be your cycle, what you should or should not be eating, when is the best time for sex and – of course – the rising costs. The list goes on, and on.
Maybe your relationships with other women like your mother, sister, friends and/or colleagues has changed?
So what can you do?
Time to let go of being the problem and start living
So many women are worried that if they don’t put every minute of every day into finding the answer, they are letting their partner down or they might miss some new treatment option or miraculous cure!
Are you letting your fertility define you?
Focusing each and every day on the problem can prevent you from actually increasing your chances of conceiving. You see, your brain – like everyone else’s – needs to see possibilities before it can move towards them. Let’s be clear, I’m not suggesting you start saying affirmations or “send a message out into the universe and it will deliver”. None of that crystal waving, think only positive thoughts and it will happen stuff.
I’m talking about how by holding your dream a little less tightly, you can change how you view yourself and your life, and at the same time increase your chances of conceiving.
There is a lot of research about the way our bodies respond to stress. Constantly being focused on trying to conceive can send a strong message to your brain that you are under stress. Then the brain goes into protection mode, and this will impact on your whole reproductive system.
5 Ways to stop your fertility journey from defining your life
Share some good news with your partner – this could be through a text message during the day or a chat over dinner. Talk about something good that happened today. Notice the good things around you and share them.
Bring some nourishment into your day – pick an activity that you truly love and spend some time doing it.
Do something for someone else – being kind to others creates a massive endorphin (feel-good hormones) release. Stepping outside yourself and your own worries for a while sends a message to your mind and body that you’re ok and you can focus on someone else for a bit.
Read for fun – let go of the fertility research and read something enjoyable that will transport you into a different place for a while.
Practice mindfulness – learn to sit with your busy head without having to act on each and every thought when it pops up. The ability to observe your thoughts is a great way to step out of them and back into your life.
It’s easy to become totally focused on trying to conceive when it is so important to you. In my work helping women in Unlocking Your Fertility Through Mindful Moments we work through how taking a break from being totally consumed with trying to conceive can keep you in touch with your true self and enhance the steps you’re already taking to give you the best chance of conceiving.
Are you curious about how MindBody Medicine could improve your fertility? If you’d like to see if Unlocking Your Fertility Through Mindful Moments is the right program for you schedule a free chat here – and together we stop your fertility journey defining who you are.
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