It’s time to talk about infertility openly and honestly
Throughout history infertility – or fertility struggles – have been a taboo topic.
Talking about a ‘woman’s issue’, and let’s face it infertility IS a woman’s issue, just wasn’t discussed … or God forbid, supported openly!
Women who struggled to have children (gasp!) were seen to be failing – failing their man and failing society – so much so that many marriages simply didn’t survive the stress and many men found more fertile wives.
So you’re probably thinking – but that was in the olden days right? Maybe the 20s or 50s – that’s not how it is today right? But the reality is that infertility or fertility struggles STILL just aren’t an open topic of discussion.
We still don’t speak about it openly. Women are STILL embarrassed or ashamed. Some are just too sad or even angry to talk about their feelings. There’s shame in not being fertile.
But the question was then – and still is now – how do people support us if we don’t feel we can be open with them?
How do we start talking about infertility?
How can you openly talk about your grief when your period arrives month after month?
How do you know who – and when – to reach out to others when you feel traumatised by another miscarriage or failed IVF cycle?
The answer is, we can’t unless we let them in.
You see when you walk this journey alone – just you and your partner – your mental health suffers. You can’t be authentically you. You withdraw from your life and people start questioning or judging you when you aren’t as present.
It’s so bloody hard right?! Sometimes we need support … a coach, a cheerleader, another team member to share the (mental) load.
I feel unworthy and like I’m failing … do others feel that?
I feel guilty that I can’t get this simple thing – having a baby – right … do others feel this way?
So what happens if we don't start speaking about infertility?
Well firstly you’ll close yourself off from support. You’ll also prevent the people who love you most from understanding and acknowledging your pain.
If you don’t speak up, your pain can’t be validated and witnessed.
So, the time has come. To be open – society WILL deal with it. Time to be honest with your girlfriends – they WILL handle it.
Remember this is your story. Your pain is real. You are real.
Do you feel like infertility is defining you? Time to speak your truth and ask for support. After all, YOU deserve it. If you aren’t yet ready to be vocal and start talking with your girlfriends but feel like you need support to unlock your fertility, let’s chat!