There is not much one can say in the wake of the terrifying events in Paris. Having been to Paris, not that that is necessary in order to be affected by these events, my heart goes out to that beautiful city and to the people across France.
No matter how much I try to understand, I can’t. I can’t make sense of this as a psychologist, as a parent, as a citizen, as a human being. Human beings are designed to protect each other, to live as community, to preserve life – especially our own – that is why the fight/flight response is built in and activates naturally.
Human beings do however operate according to our underlying beliefs and these can override the fight/flight response. We will sacrifice ourselves if our values and beliefs are strong enough and threatened, such as protecting our offspring or those we love.
The power of these radical groups in continuing to recruit young people, who need ‘a cause’, or the need to belong, or have a need for someone to believe in them, is so strong that we can feel disempowered to do anything. Disempowerment breeds fear. We feel helpless and so our fear increases.
While it is difficult for us to impact in a global sense, one way we can fight back on a local, daily basis is to connect with those in our communities who are withdrawn, isolated, lost.
Never before has our need for connectedness been so obvious. A simple smile at people in your street and as you go about your day, can make others feel connected. Make eye contact with others. Eye contact says ‘you are accepted in my world’. Be kind to others, as you never know what their needs might be.
These simple actions might not feel like they are impacting worldwide, however simple acts can create a ripple effect. They can help us feel connected and safe. The way we can face terrorism in our small yet powerful way is not to feel terrorised but open and trusting with each other.