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Vipassana, More Than Meditation

By on June 27, 2017 in Mindfulness

This is my vipassana story, or as I remember it, boot camp for the mind, body and soul.

For many years I considered the idea of attending a vipassana retreat. For those of you who don’t know – a vipassana is a silent retreat. It can be different lengths, I chose a 10 day, rather than 30days! Many people repeat this experience and they are held all around the world.

You sit in meditation for most of the day, 11 hours in fact! Focus is on the breath for the initial 3 days, then on the sensations in the body for the rest of the ten days.

Before I left on this adventure, many people commented on how difficult they thought it would be to be silent for a whole 10 days. I thought that would be a challenge, but one I was up for.

Along with my regular meditation practice, I often have periods of silence in my life. I drive without the radio on; I work around the house without television, radio or music, or chatting to anyone. I actually enjoy those periods, so coping with silence wasn’t a concern I had, even though leaving all technology and reading materials behind did raise some interest in me.

Little did I know, that vipassana is code for boot camp for the mind, body and soul. Silence is the easy part.

Silence is a major part of the process. The teaching says it’s about not getting distracted by conversations. You know how you might go over and over in your mind what was said, while you are supposed to be focused on your meditation.

We know that conversations often get repeated in our minds – “why did I say that?” “What did they mean when they said ……..?” “I think they are ………..” “I wish I had said …………” because that is what minds do.

However the silence in vipassana has a bigger impact. Silence means that without external input, your mind is left to ‘chat’ with itself, and chat it does! Mind wandering into forgotten memories or preparing for the challenges of the unknown future.

In my daily meditation practice I have noticed my mind wandering is usually future-focused. Ideas of what I can do with teaching mindfulness in my classes pass in and out of my meditating mind quite often. This didn’t happen in vipassana. My mind somehow wanted to go back. Go back and resolve past issues, ones I thought I had long laid to rest, but quickly realised I probably hadn’t.

The teaching of the vipassana focuses on impermanence, everything changes. Nothing in our bodies are solid – breath, blood, muscles, organs, even bones are constantly changing, and so too are our thoughts. Focus on the body teaches the mind about impermanence – everything is changing.

Hanging on to a thought as if it is forever is quickly dismissed – impermanence – everything changes – and I have changed since that past incident. Time to move on and let it go.

The biggest challenge, at least for me, wasn’t coping with the silence, it was the pressure on the body. At the end of our 10 days noble silence others had said they found getting up at 4am ready to sit at 4.30am each day a huge challenge. So much so they even had a nap during the lunchtime rest break. I managed the early rises easily, for me it was the body.

Due to a recent foot injury, I had been unable to maintain my yoga practice and so my body was stiffer than usual. I think though, not as stiff and inflexible as many of my contemporaries. However sitting in meditation for about 11 hours a day for 10 days is excruciatingly painful, and yet pain in the knees, back, buttocks, and in my case, foot, would come and go – impermanence!

I would sit and pain would arise. I would notice it, want to move to relieve it , as we all do, but stick to the process of vipassana, and at the end of the sitting the pain would have dissolved somewhere along the way – impermanence!

This is a curiosity. The power of honing attention, of noticing without getting hooked into having to change anything, to sit with self-compassion and strong determination, enabled me to somehow cope with both body pain and emotional pain – impermanence.

In the end, my practice is undoubtedly stronger and my mind more flexible, generous and compassionate.

As a psychologist I did have trouble with parts of the teaching of the theory and philosophy of vipassana. I was challenged by some of the beliefs and talking with the assistant teacher unfortunately didn’t allay my professional concerns.

I would strongly advise anyone to consider why they are attracted to or going on their first vipassana. I would also urge anyone who has symptoms of anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder to speak to a professional before starting your vipassana journey.

Given that the teaching is all done on pre-recorded CDs and DVDs, because the master Goenka passed away in 2013, for me it was impossible to really gain a good insight into the fundamental ethos or hope any feedback may change the language used or approach.

I know that attending the vipassana has positively changed the lives of many people. I know that my life has also been changed in positive ways through this experience as well. However I would be alarmed if someone who is quite psychologically fragile saw this retreat as a means of getting to the bottom of their difficulties, considering there was no professional help available.

For me, I will continue to learn more about Buddhist psychology and hopefully I can reconcile my concerns in time.   For now I will continue my practice, maybe not the recommended 1hr morning and night, but nevertheless I will continue to develop my understanding of meditation, after all no matter how long you have been practicing, we are all beginners.

The concept of impermanence has always been central to my belief system and my psychological practice; I now have a more physical and emotional experience of it.

Here is a link from mindful.org on what you may need to consider before you attend any meditation retreat.

Namaste

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Autumn Soundscape Meditation

By on March 7, 2016 in Mindfulness

IMG_4852As I wait for someone in a park in my beautiful city, I decide, as I often do in situations like this, to take the opportunity and sit in a soundscape meditation.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with meditation or soundscape meditations I will attempt to explain what I like to encourage when I teach it.

Generally in our day we divide sounds into those we like and those we don’t. The sounds we don’t like we usually describe as noise. This is particularly true when we are feeling the negative effects of stress. When our minds are in distress.

It seems the higher our stress the lower our threshold is to cope with the cacophony of everyday sounds.

By labelling these everyday sounds as ‘noise’ we limit ourselves.   We limit our tolerance, because noise is something that annoys us, grates on our nerves, and interrupts our thinking or sense of calm.

We also limit ourselves to see, or should I say hear, the connections that make up our world. Connections made by others perhaps going about their day. We limit our awareness of noticing, which is why soundscape meditation is very much a mindfulness meditation.

So as I sit with my eyes closed on this warm day early in Melbourne’s autumn, I start to hear so many sounds. I always find it amazing how when we quieten the eyes our sense of hearing seems to awaken even more.

Construction sounds are probably the most dominant sounds in my present, and so the ears are naturally drawn to them. Construction sounds are sounds of people working. Sounds of possibilities for the future for others to work or live in the city. Sounds of amazing machinery designed by engineers and creative inventors to help make our lives safer and easier. Machinery that someone else has also made, providing a job for them as well.

As I listen more closely to my city I hear the sounds of traffic. People moving. Looking to connect with others perhaps, possibly looking to leave the city for the weekend. Moving to jobs, for jobs. Moving to families or friends. Who am I to decide that this is annoying or unnecessary?

The ding of a tram bell indicates movement stopping or starting. A caution to others to be careful as they go about their life. Not all cities have this unique form of transport. Trams are synonymous with Melbourne, they are our history.

Suddenly the sounds of sirens. An ambulance followed by a fire engine. We can be tempted to think they are spoiling our serenity with their loud raucous bells, or we can understand that someone is in need of support and these people are doing everything they can to get there as quickly as possible to offer that support. Their sounds no longer offensive, more an act of selflessness, courage and compassion.

The wind is rustling the trees providing a touch of nature in this city soundscape. Birds are tweeting to each other as they either fly overhead or sit perched in the trees that create a softening of the city.

People are walking by. I hear their footsteps. Some are gentle, some scurry. Some push the autumn leaves along the pathway. Kicking autumn leaves always transports me back to childhood. Fallen leaves, a sign of the change in seasons. The earth in its continuous cycle of change, a change we can often be oblivious to as we go about the busyness of our day.

A soundscape meditation is a wonderful way to instantly become present. While I have talked here about the sounds, labelling them for the purpose of this blog, a soundscape meditation is actually a time when you don’t have to think. You don’t need to label, judge or assess the sounds of your present as good or bad, they just are.

A soundscape meditation can immediately ground us in the beauty of the world, a world full of connections that we may otherwise miss.

Soundscape meditation is easy to do and very portable, you can do it anywhere.

Give it a go and watch your mind attempting to label and judge, resist these temptations, allowing the world to be and you to just be in it.

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Science explains – why meditation is good for us!

By on July 11, 2015 in Mindfulness

Have you ever wondered what goes on in your brain during meditation?

Why would sitting still, with closed eyes be so calming?

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Well actually for some of us, it isn’t so calming, it is a nightmare. Some people can’t stand the endless chatter that the mind does when they stop and sit. Some people say that trying to still the mind is just impossible and so meditation just isn’t possible for them. A lot of people agree with that, in my meditation practice and teaching course I hear that a lot. “You know this won’t work for me, I can’t stop thinking for a second let alone minutes! It’s a lost cause I’m afraid.”

Well, no it isn’t a “lost cause” but the striving to quieten the mind, or still your thoughts is fraught with problems. So in order to gain the benefits of meditation it is best to let those ideals go.

DON’T try to do anything to your mind and see what happens.

There are two things you need to know: Firstly, anyone can meditate and secondly, one of the reasons why we actually feel good when we do.

OK, firstly, anyone can meditate. If you stop trying to control everything you might notice that you immediately have a bit of freedom to actually notice what is happening during meditation.

Meditation is attention training. Training yourself to focus on one thing and noticing when your mind wants to get involved and ‘run the show’.

Our attention is rarely tuned to one thing. It flits all over the place. We think about the weather, what we need to be doing next, what happened yesterday and how we feel about it. We think about people, food, work tasks, chores, traffic, and problems to be solved. Thinking goes on and we let it, getting hooked on each thought that comes into our head as if it were SO important that it deserves all that attention.

In meditation we decide where our attention will be placed. Often this may be on the breath, sometimes it may be on sounds, or a mantra, or even a movement or eating. It is where we place our attention and how we continually notice when our attention is distracted from that focus and gently bring it back.

That simple, right? Hell no! This is hard work – at first – but like anything new, once we practice, it becomes easier and easier.

Now why does it feel good when we do focus in meditation?

One of the reasons is a small gland hidden in centre of the brain called the pineal gland. The pineal gland is responsible for the release of the hormone – melatonin, which is an important part of the body’s circadian timing system and can synchronise daily rhythms. The French philosopher Rene Descartes believed the pineal gland was the ‘seat of the soul’ considered to influence happiness.

Melatonin is responsible for our sleep/wake cycle and sexual development. It is stimulated by darkness.   One of the reasons why meditation activates the pineal gland could be the darkness caused by closing the eyes.

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Meditation activates the pineal gland to produce melatonin, creating a deep feeling of wellness and sleep (peacefulness) in the awake brain. During meditation we have a decrease in blood pressure, decreased heart rate and a slowing of the breath, all causing a sense of calm and relaxation.

All of this is due to the fact we can focus our attention by closing our eyes to external stimuli, stimulate the pineal gland to release melatonin and feel calmer and happier in the process.

So give it a go. Don’t get caught in the trap that your mind is too active to meditate. The best thinkers in the world know that to be focused produces results. Try being focused for 1 minute, then 3 minutes, 5 minutes, then 10 minutes a day and see what a difference it makes to not only your productivity but your overall sense of wellness and happiness.

With thanks – photos by Sebastien Wiertz

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Experiences or information?

By on September 21, 2014 in Mindful Musings

Einstein once said “Whatever happens is experience, if it doesn’t actually happen then it is just information”.

Is your life filled with experiences or information?  What do you pay the most attention to – what is happening in front of you or your thoughts trying to explain what just happened or what might happen in the future?

Are you busy looking for your part in what just happened?  How are you to blame somehow, or perhaps why did that happen to you?

Mindfulness asks us to be more aware, present, here and now.  Something that you can already do, but due to being absorbed in your thoughts you are probably out of touch with.

By paying attention to this moment we can notice when we are fragmenting the world into inner and outer, what we like or want and what we don’t.  All of this prevents us from experiencing the clarity and unity of true awareness. The information gets in the way of the experience and so we may interpret the experience differently to what it actually is.

When we are going along on autopilot just living our lives we are at the mercy of others and events as they happen.  When things are good, we often tell ourselves we are happy, we can cope, but when life takes a turn for the worse we tell ourselves we are unworthy, or we are to blame, or a story that there is no hope for us.  Mindfulness says that is just thinking – or in Einstein’s language – it is just information.

Sure we can find a basis for it.  Evidence is everywhere once we start to look, but is that really evidence or just more thinking?  Plus who is doing all this thinking anyway?  We become our own worst enemy.

Don’t allow Mindfulness to be one more strategy you need to implement when the going gets tough.  Then it just becomes a slogan that will ‘fail’ you because you haven’t developed it as a way of life.

Mindfulness is about being wise to this thinking, about being self-compassionate and understanding of ours and others’ suffering.

To be present we need to be more active in our lives and not just let it happen to us.

Challenge yourself to do more: living; exploring; seeing; cherishing; being; experiencing; savouring; sharing; honouring; touching; feeling; hearing; tasting.

Look for the magical; the wonderful; the special; the different; the beauty.

Start at the beginning of each day – notice the sunrise. Instead of rushing into the busyness of the day, welcome the new day, the new beginnings with opportunities.  Rise early enough to greet the sun as it creates a new day for you.

Instead of pushing yourself to fit more in or end your working day, notice the end of the day – the sunset.  Notice the changes as the day becomes night.  A time when you can let go and rest, not collapse into bed or in front of the television.  Choose to experience restfulness fully present.

Allow yourself to experience more and think less and notice the freedom it brings.

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Breathe in and know you are breathing

By on August 10, 2014 in Mindful Musings

One of the basic, most natural things our amazing bodies do is breathe  We breathe in, we breathe out, however we pay very little attention to it.

The very first thing we do as we enter this world is breathe in, this is the beginning of an in/out cycle.  A cycle that continues until our final breath out.IMG_8049 - Version 2

In The Mindful Child by Susan Kaiser Greenland, she suggests that a child’s breath is like a swinging door between their inner and outer worlds.  I think this is the same for us as adults.

Our breath can be calm and measured if our surroundings are also calm.  If things get a bit challenging it is our heart and our breath that will sense this before our minds compute what is happening.

If we are rushing our breath supports our body to hurry, if we are ill our breath may be laboured, if we are sleeping hopefully our breath will be slow and peaceful.

I remember as a twelve-year-old child standing in the doorway of a room where my grandmother lay in bed dying.  My grandmother made it very difficult to form a close relationship with her, however my mother had been called interstate to help her siblings as their mother completed her final days and I had gone along with her.

I remember standing in that doorway, physical distance between us, but breathing every breath she breathed.  Breath in, breath out.  I felt that it was my breath keeping her alive.  Breath in, breath out.  For that time there was no thought, no fear, just breath.  Breath in……………breath out……………….breath in………………………breath out.  It was probably the closest I actually felt toward her in my young twelve years. It was a time I have never forgotten.

I now know that everyone breathes and everyone dies.  I now know that the person I speak to today, it may be the last time I see them.  I now know that I need to hold this sacred space between myself and the other person as I don’t know what will happen.  I also know that knowing this changes the way I speak with people.

Jan Chozen Bays writes: Becoming aware of death opens our awareness to this single, vivid moment of life.

People can find these understandings quite depressing and try to believe that we are all going to live forever.  But we aren’t.  Imagine if you listened to someone like you knew it was your last conversation, how would this change your level of attention? How would it change your connection with that person, your level of impatience or anger perhaps?

An awareness of impermanence encourages us to bring our best to each and every moment.  To give each moment quiet attentiveness, to become aware of its awe, its beauty purely because we are here to experience it.

Kaiser Greenland encourages us to slow down and tune into other people’s breathing to gain insights into their worlds that we might otherwise miss.  In doing so we can also gain insights into our own inner world.

Breathing is at the heart of mindfulness and meditation. In fact Jon Kabat-Zinn says that the Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program has greater success with the living than the dead! This leads him to believe that no matter what is wrong with you, if you are breathing there is more right  with you than wrong with you.

Breathing is often the anchor which is used to train attention. We can choose to focus on the breath at any moment as it anchors us in the present, after all, the breath can only be here in this present moment and so by noticing it, we too, are being present.

For this week, notice your breath.  Know when you are breathing in and know when you are breathing out.

Tune in to others’ breathing, especially if you are around children or the elderly.  Be with them in their breath cycle for just a few moments and watch your connection with them change.

Try sighing.  We often sigh without knowing this is usually because we are breathing from our chest not breathing deeply enough into our diaphragm and belly, and our bodies need that extra breath.  For this week, consciously sigh, even out loud.

Sighing can break tension in the body.  Take a big breath in, open the chest muscles, then let it all go out.  Let go of control.  Let the body drop with the breath.  Then notice the pause at the end before the next breath comes in.  Do two or three deep sighs in a row.

You could try to use the exhalation of the breath to let go of tension.  With your eyes closed notice the out breath and focus on the body.  Start at the top of the head, on the out breath notice the tension you may be holding around your temples. On the next out breath notice the tension you may be holding in the jaw.  Each new breath notice on the out breath another part of the body.  The temples, jaw, neck, shoulders, chest, back, arms, belly, buttocks, legs, feet.  It  doesn’t matter if you were or weren’t holding tension in any of these areas, just by noticing them, by tuning into them on the out breath your body will naturally relax.

You might also like to try a mantra on the out breath such as “relax” or “release”.  Mantras are words or short phrases in our minds repeated on the out breath.  Again the breath and the mind working together in the present creates a sense of calm and stillness.

Of course you may just like to follow the breath as it moves through the in/out cycle.  Follow it without judgment on how it ‘should’ be, follow it without expectation of what you will feel later or at the time.  Follow it as it brings new oxygen into your system, feeding your organs, your muscles, your brain.  Follow it as it leaves your system and connects you to plants and the rest of the world.

Breathe gently and awaken to this amazing gift.

 

 

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