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Do you feel like your fertility has broken you?
Do your beliefs about your own worthiness create your infertility?
Simply. No.
Are you being punished for things that have happened in the past or things you or have not done?
Absolutely not!
Does worrying about being good enough and feeling like a failure contribute to your body healing and enhancing your fertility?
Absolutely it does!
To change your fertility journey you need the right medical advice and support right? A resounding yes.
You need to be treating your body well with the right foods, water, exercise and sleep – right? Definitely, yes.
You need to be nourishing your soul and your spirit to help your chances of conceiving. Without a doubt you do.
And most of all, you need to heal those damaging stories that keep you wound tight and feeling wounded. The stories that go around and around like a tape recorder in your mind, stuck on the same narrative, the same negative self-defeating cycle.
Struggling there? you aren’t alone! You aren’t broken.
Your mind
Your fertility doesn’t mean you’re broken!
Your mind – like pretty much everything in your life – has pros and cons. It protects you. The hard through is that it can also destroy. Let’s look at the pros and cons …
Pros – your mind processes lots of information, problem solves and helps you understand abstract concepts. It helps you to be creative and curious.
Cons – in protecting you it feeds you mistruths. Maybe these mistruths were learnt early in your life and now you feel like that’s just who you are. The reality is though, through these mistruths, your mind can keep your system from releasing damaging hormones which reduces your chances of conceiving and/or carrying a baby to full term.
Back when you were a little girl without realising it you were sent lots of messages about what a woman is ‘supposed’ to do. How you should act, think, say and maybe even feel. Sometimes these messages were direct and sometimes covert. It might have included things like a woman’s purpose – or role – in relationships, families, work, the community and of course life in general.
So, often – based on negative events and input from our families of origin – you might internalise a trauma response. For example, if you were told you were a bad or “naughty girl” or maybe a disappointment. Feel and sound familiar? These events and words can lead you to feel like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m broken”. The truth is this is a story. A story you’re telling yourself based on the trauma from being a little girl. Read that again …
Have you (or any of your girlfriends) ever openly questioned the roles our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, neighbours, teachers and coaches set for us?
As children most of us internalise the expectations of our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, uncles, teachers and coaches. These expectations tend to tell you who you are, and you are either suppress it or live through it.
Fast forward to now and along comes the hugest challenge to our femaleness – infertility – and just like that all these buried negative stories come to the surface and well, they appear to be true … so we punish ourselves.
Does this sound familiar?
So, suddenly fertility has shone a light on all these feelings and stories we’ve managed to bury so deep. It feels like there’s a bonfire of doubts, fears and insecurities. The reality is though, this bonfire is damaging your chance of conceiving and carrying a baby to full term.
If you haven’t noticed this trauma, but have relate to “I’m not enough” or “I’m broken that too is completely normal. Mostly this trauma doesn’t become evident until someone helps you sort through it.
And the MindBody Program for Fertility does just this and helps to find the disconnect. During the program we work through how you align with your values and the stories you’ve hidden to help you find your authentic self – you know, the one you know really deep, deep down is true that could surface if only the “I’m broken” story wasn’t playing over and over in your mind.
Why trust me?
As I psychologist I know confronting your inner self – warts and all – is a bloody tough gig and you need a guide – someone to help you navigate the rocks on the road to healing. Someone who can safely ‘hold’ you while you explore these deep-seeded feelings and help you to heal. To heal your soul AND your body.
Remember you ARE enough. You have the ability to heal. You are not broken!
Does this sound like you? Do you need a navigator on the windy road to healing? If you’ve answered yes let’s chat.
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