The Child Inside

The business of being an adult can be quite demoralising.

Making deadlines, paying bills, working, cleaning house, caring for others.  We can forget to enjoy ourselves. Forget to smile, to laugh, to joke.

Life is serious. We know that there are people dying, starving, being harmed by others, injustices throughout the world. The planet is changing and often being damaged by our recklessness and arrogance as a human race.

Growing up doesn’t seem as appealing as it once did, now that we know what we know!

But it doesn’t have to be all bad.

Research from the field of Positive Psychology indicates that experiencing positive emotions through pleasurable activities is a major contributor to our well-being.  It isn’t the whole thing, but it does improve our mental health.  Looking at the notion of positivity Fredrickson (2009) highlights that positive emotions “open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and more creative.”  Being more receptive and creative encourages us to interact with the world in a more positive way – perhaps reducing some of our own contributions to the negative impacts on our world.

One of the ways we can bring positivity into our lives is to keep in touch with the child inside us.

Too often we give up the simple things that as a child brought us great pleasure.  It may have been sitting on a swing, rolling down a hill, laying on the grass looking up at the clouds, dancing or playing a musical instrument.

As adults we don’t have time for such frivolous pursuits.  We are too busy. Too busy with important adult things.  But why are we busy with these adult things? Why can’t we have the joy that childhood knows even though we know more about the difficulties in the world?

This week’s mindfulness challenge is to get in touch with the child inside.  What brings you pleasure – sheer joy?

Pleasure that is simple, uncomplicated, honest and hits you where you feel it, in your heart.  Not the pleasure you get from cleaning your car, or having a drink with friends or playing a computer game.  Pleasure as a child feels it, as the child inside yourself feels it. Joyful, playful, nourishing pleasure.

You know the old saying – dance like no-one is watching – just like a child does before social awareness robs us of pure pleasure.

Encourage others to also find the child inside.  Whistle a tune, or better still, sing out loud and get others to sing along. Jump in puddles, do a tumbling somersault, eat a favourite treat savouring each mouthful, throw or bounce a ball with someone or a pet, throw a sheet over some chairs and build a  cubbyhouse under the table with children or maybe even climb a tree!

Perhaps you could cook something for someone else as a surprise for them, or make a gift. Grab some coloured pencils and draw a picture, play a board game with friends or family, or grab some old clothes and play ‘dress-ups’ with your children.

Notice your own voice inside you monitoring judgment – I don’t have time for this; this is for children; I wish I could do that but ….. or what will others think? Who cares what they think, I bet they’re not having nearly as much fun as you are at that very moment.

Our lives need more play as the seriousness will always demand our attention.  Don’t let judgment by yourself or others rob you of that feeling of just being happy!

As Patch Adams once said “one of the reasons adults should look as if they are having fun, is to give kids a reason to want to grow up”