One of the things that mindfulness teaches us is that each moment is new, interesting and unique. However, we tend to go about our lives trying to control as many things as we can under the pretence that we are “in control” and everything is the same, predictable, just as we would like it to be, believing we are in control of our lives as a whole, which of course we only think we are.
Daily we find ourselves performing tasks and rituals without even realising it. But doing certain things a certain way brings us a sense of security and calm.
But what happens when things don’t go the way we want? What happens when the road we always take to go to work is blocked off due to roadworks?
Or our favourite coffee shop is closed for renovations or they have run out of our favourite coffee!!?
How do we feel when instead of travelling forward on the train we are forced to sit travelling backwards? “Oh I can’t travel backwards, it just doesn’t feel right” we think to ourselves and it unnerves us.
Our attempts at stability sends false messages to our brains that we are in control.
So this week we are going to deliberately mix things up!
If you teach your brain to be more willing to change, it will develop a psychological flexibility, the ability to cope with the unexpected. This in turn leads us to being calmer when things go wrong but more importantly, we can be more conscious of our emotional responses to situations and therefore won’t get hooked into them as much as we would if change was thrust upon us. We can reduce our rigidity to situations and therefore reduce our own suffering.
So think about something you do regularly without thinking about it. It may be that you like to sit in the same chair to eat at the table or in a restaurant (back against the wall), or to watch television. Perhps you like to go a specific way to work, or have your shower before you brush your teeth.
Me, I used to like to get dressed a certain way. Left in first, left arm in before right, left sock on before right etc. This used to make trying on shoes in stores a nightmare as they always have right shoes on display. Yes that’s right – a nightmare. How ridiculous they are just shoes, nobody died, just had to put a right shoe on without the left one! No nightmares anymore, I managed to let it go!
What will you try?
Changing seats? Morning routine? Sleeping on the other side of the bed!!!? I wouldn’t suggest putting your car keys in a different spot or else it may take you a while to find them – more stress!
Give yourself a challenge. It will make you a little uncomfortable, or uneasy, but it won’t hurt you.
Notice and be present to how it impacts on you, flow with it with curiosity, without judgment, just observe. Don’t give in and try to remove the discomfort, remember it is only for a week, unless of course you want to keep going and release more habits!
Let us know what you have changed and how you reacted – or how others reacted!
Sweet dreams!
On a recent trip to the U.S I was forced to make changes I found more challenging than I had factored in to my pre trip planning. We had planned a road trip from Seattle to L.A and had been reminding myself pre trip I would be on the other side of the car and road prior to leaving Australia. That helped in making the transition on arrival. What I had failed to program in was that the indicator control was also on the opposite side of the wheel. I continually kept pressing the wipers on when I intended to indicate. It was quite dangerous at times. Through sheer necessity it took a good deal of reprogramming to make the adjustment. In fact I had to mentally tell myself before I got in the car that indicators are on the left, wipers on the right. Only then did the change sink in. This certainly alerted me to the idea that we are “deeply programmed creatures” and need to actively think about what we do if we are to remain open to the vast choices that are available to us.